So I finally did it. we went to the store with rules firmly set in mind, and at the first infraction we went home. Left the cart where it was, pulled both of the kids out, and walked to the car. Drove straight home, with no expectation to return today.
Now, I got this idea from Kelley at The Morristribe. If memory serves (hah!) then I read it in her book, “Just Get ‘Em Fed”. (I hope she will forgive me if I misquote.) The thought is to have well-behaved kids in the store. And I would do just about anything for that. In this particular instance, we clarified the rules on the way to the store, singing them so that the kids would have them firmly in mind. Then I went over them again when we got the buggy, so everyone understood. The song I made up is very simple. “No grabbing, no running, no yelling out loud. Stay right by daddy and he will be so proud.”
Now, understand it is Christmas time. There are presents and toys and colorful items all over the store. I expect a bit of, “Oh please can we buy that!” I expect lots of it, in fact. But the rules are set to allow that sort of thing, without letting them go completely insane.
I think it took about 11 minutes before we left. Alex was being her usual, strong-willed self. She saw something that she wanted, something we were picking out together, that she wanted in blue and I wanted in red (this is not the exact story, as it is Christmas and we could have been picking out a surprise for someone who might read this). I said that the red one would be the right one, and that we were not getting the blue one. I took the blue one back from Alex, and put it on the shelf. I walked around to put the red one in the buggy and Alex harumphed, grabbed the blue one form the shelf, and said something to the effect of, “Well -I- want this one!”
I counted to ten. I took a deep breath. And in my calmest voice I asked her, “What is the first rule in the store?” She looked at me, very angry, and then her face started to wobble. She murmured, “Don’t get grabby,” so quietly that I could barely hear her. But she knew she was in trouble. And so I told her to get out of the cart, lifted James out and to his feet, and we went home.
The entire way they were both in shock. Shock! I think they’ve learned a valuable lesson. And I really hope it sticks. I have a big list yet to buy, groceries mostly but ribbon and such too. I think walking out was more tough on me than it was on them. But I would not have done it if I didn’t believe it would work.
Now to figure out how to get these presents under the tree without ribbon…
daddyshomesteading 